REVIEWBRUARY [DAY 6]: THE MUMMY 5/10 – GRADE: D

SYNOPSIS

After the the incredible (yes, INCREDIBLE – fight me) first two Mummy movies (let’s just forget about the third), watch Tom Cruise try his absolute hardest to imitate the legend that is Brendan Fraser, and remind us he is not. Watch as Universal fails in their attempt at their first instalment in their planned massive franchise; the Dark Universe (of course we’re just meant to forget about Dracula Untold), as they remove everything you loved about the first two films. The Mummy follows Tom Cruise’s Nick Morton a U.S Army official who uncovers the ancient tomb of Egyptian princess “Ahmanet” (Sofia Boutella), when they attempt to return home with the tomb, her curse brings them to a halt, however, Nick’s problems follow him beyond the grave… I gave The Mummy a 5 out of 10, or a D, and that isn’t because it is a bad film but rather a pointless one.

REVIEW

I tend to write notes about a film, before I write the review, to structure the review. And, at the moment all my page says is: “Completely forgettable”, and I think that sums up this film perfectly, when I was writing the synopsis, I struggled to remember anyone’s names. That being said anyone that is really hating on it, shouldn’t be, it isn’t a terrible film, it’s just “meh”, but unfortunately, when you have Tom Cruise and Jake Johnston (Jake deserves to be in the same calibre, I loved him in New Girl), “meh” is not good enough. Especially when you plan to branch off into a massive franchise of the back of this movie, “meh” can not be allowed. The real question here, is what really went wrong, as I said the film ain’t really bad, but it is just completely useless – the only hope there was in this film was Russel Crowe’s Dr. Jekyll but it is just another Tom Cruise running around film which I would’t have minded but this time it was with a stupid plot.

And, then we have to ask the question: was it set up for failure? Taking on a remake no-one asked for, starting a franchise not many wanted, these all contributed to it’s failure. I think people were never going to watch it because they knew it was going to be bad and so were sceptical, when not even Tom Cruise can save your movie, a guy who has LITERALLY made SIX Mission Impossible movies, and each movie being the EXACT same story line – and YET SOMEHOW, each movie is a box office success, you know that the project wasn’t the right one. But the more I think about it, I’m not quite sure what could have been done to fix the film, it was so pointless that the entire film would just have to be changed.

Moving forwards. we need to talk about something that the film did not do well at all. The Genre, yes I know this is the fourth time I am referencing genres in as many days, but it is a problem with this film, I don;t understand what they were going for – it weren’t funny, weren’t scary, weren’t mysterious – it wasn’t anything. Before it came out I was reading they planned to do a horror film, but it wasn’t scary, they had some elements of comedy through Jake Johnston, but he literally is in it at the start and at the end. It was mainly just a Tom Cruise film, and there wasn’t a clear genre. It tried to do a little of everything and instead it did nothing.

Before, I deliver a scattering attack on this film, let’s talk about what I liked first, there were some good performances from Sofia Boutella and Russell Crowe’s Dr. Jekyll actually got me excited for the future of the franchise. The plane crash scene was incredible but it was just a massive shame that his death was spoiled for me and the best bits of the actual crash were all spoiled for me in the trailer.

Onto what went wrong with the film, to that – I can only say everything, from not picking a genre to focusing on Tom Cruise’s character a little too much, too giving  a absolute rubbish story line, with her character happening to be the worst thing about this film. The entire plot is just too long and too confusing and I fully could not be bothered to pay attention, hell – I can’t be bothered to remind myself about the plot, it was just so unnecessary – and at times I fully asked “what the hell was going on?”

A little on the actors now, Tom Cruise performs a classic Tom Cruise role – we have seen before, it has worked before, and he will do it again – once again reiterating the fact that this is a Tom Cruise movie, hardly anyone else is in it. Of course there is Annabelle Wallis’ character, and I am not going to say her performance is bad, but her character is poor and I couldn’t care less if she died or not – she was just there for more development for Tom Cruise. Jake Johnston is hardly in it, and his inclusion makes me angry, Sofia Boutella isn’t in it enough, she is given hardly any development. Courtney B. Vance has a cameo. And it is clear they are leaving Russell Crowe for his own movie!

As I said at the beginning it was been doomed from the start, they set it up for failure and if they seriously ask about a sequel, I will respond with a “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”, it will be interesting though, to see what happens with the rest of the franchise.

I was thinking about how to end it and well: Universal need to learn that they have to walk before they run. I give The Mummy a 5 out of 10, which equates to a D.

AZ